We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Week 1 / Anger / Paralysis

by EMDR

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
My Head 03:48
lyrics
You called me all sorts of things And after a while they didn’t phase me I just didn’t understand why you said them in the first place Why? What did I do that would make you so angry Why? What could I say that would make this all go away? I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the times you lashed out What did I do by just trying to call you? What did I do by just asking ‘how are you’? What did I do by just trying to love you? I couldn’t get you out of my head Did you want me to love you or did you want me to miss you more More than I could say but I will never love again that way I gotta get you out of my head I gotta get you out You promised all sorts of things, and I believed every one of them I was tired of playing your game when it didn’t make a difference You lost me at ‘I want to marry you’ After ‘I fucking hate you’ over and over again
2.
2nd Floor 04:28
lyrics
I’m staring through your window And looking at your shadow But all I can see are his tears He doesn’t want to say much so I can’t help but give up As I watch him struggle with his fears It was the last time I didn’t know that this was the last time How could I have known that this was the last time I would ever see you again? As you walk through your front door you appear Through your second floor window And I knew that it It was the last time I would ever let you cross the line I will never let us cross the line I will never see you again I got my driver’s license to split the driving with you Applied to grad school and wore a thong to impress you And I watched every last retro report in the times Just so you knew that I was paying attention I remembered your magic decks and stories about your friends But mine you can’t name a single one of them What the hell was I doing trying to care when I was just wasting Time, and I knew that it It was the last time I would ever let you cross the line I will never let us cross the line I will never see you again It was the last time I didn’t know that this is the last time But now I know that this is the last time I will ever see you again I will never see you again
3.
Zero Accountability 09:03
lyrics
I look at you, and what do I see? I don’t know if you are listening, can you hear me? Step back and scream in your anger all you cannot say to me Run away You pulled your shirt off me, and I accepted your apology You said it was satisfying watching me squirm Well when am I ever gonna learn? Can you just take it back? Call me delusional I don’t care what you have to say to distract me from the fact that you have Zero accountability It’s not just a kiss when you kiss me goodbye So why is a lie just a lie? Is telling me, ‘we’re incompatible’ a lazy excuse For not wanting to admit the truth? Is telling me ‘it’s not just a kiss’ when you kiss me goodbye So why is a lie just a lie? Zero accountability

about

This is the first ep (week 1) that represents the first stage of grief: anger. It is the first installment of five under EMDR.

*Content Warning: trauma, dv, ptsd

Notes:
One thing you need to understand about the grief cycle is that it doesn’t happen in a row; it’s cyclical. And I wasn’t angry first; I was in denial and in shock. Being in a domestically abusive relationship kind of feels like being invited to a “costume party” and you’re the only one who shows up wearing a costume and suddenly you’ve become the punchline to a joke (you know like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde). You spend hours trying to figure out “did he really even mean this then?” I had just moved back up to Rochester, NY and had no electricity or heat in my apartment for a week until RG&E could come out to turn it on. So I asked my partner at the time if he would help me out and his exact words he sent via text were “Wow, you might have gone full blown crazy. You’re a liar.” So that was the beginning of the end. “Zero Accountability” is my direct response to processing the first stage: anger.

The five eps are available as a compilation album for purchase here: emdr.bandcamp.com/album/emdr-a-five-ep-compilation

credits

released September 4, 2020

Viola - Cindy Lan
Drums - Andrew Tachine
Cymbal Screeches on 'Zero Accountability' - Gordon Engelgau
Guitar / Vocals - Julia Egan

Mixing & Mastering - Sam Snyder

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

EMDR image

EMDR

EMDR (c. 2018), fronted by guitarist and songwriter Julia, uses loop pedals, a pink fender, drums, beats, and viola to bring you indie-alternative narratives on ptsd and domestic abuse. PTS-inDie tunes for your soul.

We are closing our doors and will no longer be available on IG or Facebook

Can still purchase music here or our new bandcamp: somedaysoonproductions ... more

contact / help

Contact EMDR

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like EMDR, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featured guests are the golden-voiced Baby Rose and psyche soulsters Brainstory.
listen now