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Week 3 / Bargaining / It Could (Always) Be Worse

by EMDR

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1.
It’s gonna be a long summer When I wasn’t thinking about making new friends I was Riding my longboard and drinking tequila thinking It’s gonna be a long summer When I wasn’t thinking about meeting you friend I was Riding my longboard and drinking tequila and Inhaling everyone’s secondhand smoke and thinking It’s gonna be a long summer Before I met you I was on the run from Something bad like a love you can’t fix Or ambulance sirens coming on like a storm Waking up to rain and sunrises Beyond our fire escape like a sunset you were gone It’s gonna be a long summer without you my friend It’s gonna be a long summer of watching sunsets with you The sun sets with you My dear close your eyes and realize that the sun sets with you And each day begins with long summer sighs with you my friend What is a new friend but new thoughts and ideas that keep you in check What is a new friend but someone you’re afraid of losing respect It’s a new friend you forget you’re being 100% yourself around them But you give them the keys and you let them in Come in and play with me new friend I’ll sit beside you and listen to stories of your homeland far away Tute Chigamba I found this new friend I found that feeling of summer in you new friend I found walking down the street in the daylight with you new friend When you hold my hand our feet are bare in the sand The summer is home and your smile’s a bed It’s gonna be a long summer

about

*Content Warning: trauma, dv, ptsd

Notes:

One of the frustrating things about being in the middle of a domestic situation is that it’s hard for people to understand what’s going on. They think, ‘oh well if she’s still with them, then it can’t be that bad right?’ No. Survivors stay in abusive situations for many reasons, not least among them the fear of being physically harmed--even to death. I think many people in my life at the time had probably never experienced something like what I was going through; covert, insidious abuse, that builds up over time, so it disguises itself as ‘just a bad relationship.’ So it was really isolating and detrimental not having that net of validation under me for a while. I started thinking about cycles having recently been commissioned to transcribe some Zimbabwean guitar songs that were written by a famous mbira player, Tute Chigamba, to be featured in a digital archive. That very same summer, I had made a new friend in my personal life. “It’s Going To Be A Long Summer of Riding My Longboard, Drinking Tequila, and Inhaling Everyone’s Secondhand Smoke” (please excuse the Explosions in the Sky-esque title) explores that slow burn of beginning to move on from an abusive situation and trying to open one’s self up to making new friends and having new experiences that on the onset don’t seem fun, but, in the end, are incredibly rewarding. It was the first time in years I was able to breathe, the first time in years I enjoyed not being scrutinized for liking certain movies, books, wanting to see my friends, realizing I was smart and not “clueless,” and compassionate and not “a dumb cunt.”

The third ep (week 3) represents the third stage of grief: bargaining. This is the third installment of five under EMDR. The five eps are available as a compilation album for purchase here: emdr.bandcamp.com/album/emdr-a-five-ep-compilation

credits

released September 4, 2020

Viola - Cindy Lan
Drums - Andrew Tachine
Guitar / Vocals - Julia Egan

Album Art - Devon Rose, @artbydevrozie
Mixing & Mastering - Sam Snyder

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EMDR

EMDR (c. 2018), fronted by guitarist and songwriter Julia, uses loop pedals, a pink fender, drums, beats, and viola to bring you indie-alternative narratives on ptsd and domestic abuse. PTS-inDie tunes for your soul.

We are closing our doors and will no longer be available on IG or Facebook

Can still purchase music here or our new bandcamp: somedaysoonproductions
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